he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
