3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
