i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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