At least make sure they are 18
Why
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
