dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
