Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
