Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize