go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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