She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize
