So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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