If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Shame is for Republicans.
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