They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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