bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
