Your dad touched me again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
