I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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