omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
