i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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