You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
