I want to stick my p in your. b.
Soap is not a condiment
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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