well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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