He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize