**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
