he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i think my cat just said my name.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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