Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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