Duck Duck Cougar?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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