at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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