oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just forgot I was standing up.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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