I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
