I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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