Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
