GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
