Little spoons don't ask big questions
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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