I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize