ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
