yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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