the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
