I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
