Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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