I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
