I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
