It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So much rum. So many feels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
