awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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