batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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