he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
