It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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