My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
