apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize