I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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