Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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