She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
