I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize