ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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