Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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