I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
