Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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