remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The uberlube is also flammable
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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