Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
