8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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