Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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